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Generic Company Building/Transcript
This page contains a transcript of the dialogue and messages associated with completing tasks and obtaining advice, as well as the Boss dialogue. Tasks Memos MEMORANDUM A new Task has been unlocked: Tasks SCORPIONS!! (on killing a scorpion) :You've killed __ Scorpion(s)! LOST TEETH (on collecting a tooth) :You've collected __ tooth/teeth! JUST A REMINDER ;Samuel :Yes, hello, I'm Samuel. Do you want me for something? :Ah, blast! The Report! I forgot all about that! I suppose I'd better report to the Boss, then! :...Well, I mean, I will in a minute. When you're not looking. I can't do it when you're looking. STRANGE NOISES ;Moanin' Morris :Noises, y'say? Aye, that'd be me, I reckon. See, I've been trapped in 'ere for a mule's age, an I've gone an' died an all that. :It can get to a bloke, dyin' an' inexplicably raisin' as a walkin' skeleton. So I s'pose I moan to keep away the madness. :I'll shut mesel' up if y'want, so that's that, then. Be off on yer merry way, now, m'lad! Unlike me, you've got some living' to be doin'! OOPS (on talking to a person) :You've talked to __ person/people! ;Sophie :Yes? Who are you? What? The Boss sent *you* to apologise for what he did?! :Why, I'm outraged! That's ridiculous! I need to hear it from him, not from some stranger, and besides, words won't cut it! I want him out on the streets! :It's not your fault though... You're just doing your job. I suppose I can accept this... for now. ;Heidi :Hello? Yes, I was fondled by our boss, and yes, I did complain about it. Though I wonder what it is about me that made you think I was one of his victims. Hrm. :He's apologising? Like he means it. That's lawyers for you; thinking that some formality can make up for emotional trauma. How fake. :Well, you've told me now, so you can be on your merry way. Find the other poor women that vile chauvinist harassed, if you must, but I doubt it'll help. ;Lauren :Hi, um... what is it? The sexual harassment case? Oh... yes, I think I was one of his victims. :He's sorry? Well... I suppose that's okay. It's not like he raped me or anything. I suppose I can forgive him. :I'm sort of glad it's you and not him telling me; I couldn't bear to see that man again. ;Sarah :Hiya. What? You want to sue me for sexual harassment? Eh? Oh! Right! That thing, with that guy! Yeh, I was part of that case against him, wasn't I? :He's sorry? Okay, whatever; I'd sort of forgotten all about it anyway! :I'm harassed by men all the time, you see; I can't be expected to remember them all! It's a bit demeaning, but at least I know I'm sexy! ;Rebecca :That boss apologised? Finally! It's about time! He shouldn't be allowed to get away with such blatant disrespect towards women! :Well, I mean, technically, he has, and he was barely punished at all, but... hey, that's not fair at all, come to think of it! :I really hope I get some money for this later. This won't cut it alone! ;Natasha :Is this about that sexual harassment thing? He totally DID grab me, I swear! Where? Where DIDN'T he grab me, that's a better question! :What? You're here to *apologise* on his behalf? But he's right in that office, right there!! :Gods, I hate men! CALCULATIONS (on killing a sales figure) :You've killed __ Salesfigure(s)! ANALYSE THE LATEST TRENDS (on collecting a piece of information) :You've collected __ piece(s) of information! OOPS #2 (on killing a whore) :You've killed __ Whore(s)! TROLLS (on killing a troll) :You've killed __ Troll(s)! Completion (on completing a task) :The task ______ is now complete! Chat-Up Advice ;Fiona :Clarence, I heard you were going on a date? Aw, that's so sweet! I'm glad you finally met a girl who actually likes you. :You'd like some advice on how to impress her? Well, erm... you could try just being yourself! I'm sure she'll love you. You're a really nice guy... sometimes. :You could also tell her you are fond of children. Every girl likes a guy who's committed and good husband material; my girly magazines tell me so! ;Tanya :If you really want to get a woman to like you, then you should try complimenting her eyes! :Women have pretty eyes, and we really like it when you tell us so! Tee-hee! :Aren't mine lovely, by the way? I really love anime, so I got eye implants so I'd have these really kawaii eyes, desu! Squee! ;Bruce :Gettin' hot in here, isn't it? :But y'know what'll make any woman hot? Tellin' her she's sexy, that's what! They love to know it, and it's guaranteed to getcha some action! :'Course, they've gotta be lookers else it won't work... But buddy, why'd you have any interest in a gal if she were a minger? ;Archibald :It has come to my attention that you will be attempting to woo a potential ladyfriend on this day, Clarence. I may be able to assist you in this endeavour. :My research suggests that women tend to feel rather upset by the average male's primarily sexual approach to relationships. :Therefore, you should make a point of stating that you put personality above looks. You may not get into her pants, but you will get into her heart. ;Mr Wanker :Hey hey, if it isn't little Clarence, come to pay his idol a visit! Heheh. Word is, you're lookin' for advice on some date o' yours, eh? :What ya gotta do, tiger, is this. Don't hold back. Everything you're told is wrong. Tell her she's got a great rack. Just do it. She'll love it. :Y'see, men are told they shouldn't do that, but then women worry. So you gotta tell her you love 'em. That's the ticket to seein' 'em. See? ;Natalie :What is it? You're going on a date? *You*? Fine, I'll humour you. :Want some advice, Tell the girl she looks dignified, and modest. A woman's elegance and dignity are her greatest treasures. :Treat a woman with great respect, and you'll get your rewards in the end. I've said my part, now go away. ;Bonebert :Yer goin' on a date, y'say? I thinks I knows a things or two about that ol' thing! :Back in my day, yours truly was considered quites the charmer! I'd woo the lasses by askin' 'em if they'd ever been t' one o' them wild orgies, y'know? :Turned 'em right on, it did. 'Course, things may've changed since my day... But, I say, it worked a charm for me, it worked a ruddy charm! ;Dave :Hi, uh... you're going on a date tonight, mate? Least, that's what I heard. I don't know much about dating, but lemme give you a few pointers anyway. :One thing I've learned is that girls DON'T like it if you think they're slutty! That they're all *easy*, like. Or if you try to pay 'em. Doesn't go down well. :So what you should do is compliment her on not looking slutty! Yeh, based on my experience, that'll go down a treat. On obtaining advice: :You got some dating advice! (_/8) Boss Dialogue ;Boss :HELO THEIR ENPLOYEY HOW AER U TIHS WANDERFOL DAVE :OK LETS HAEV A C AT HOW GOOD U R HAEV BEEN DOIN AT DIS WORK 2DAY LYK MAN OK :U HAEV DUN _ UOT OFF 10 TAKSKS 2DAE SOLDEIR OK (if 2 tasks or less) :TAHT SUX UR FIRED LOL (if 3-9 tasks) :DATS PERTY GOD HEER U GO U R EARNEDT DESE £___ MOENY WEGES (if 10 tasks) :WOW DATS SOPER DOED I FINK IMA GONA GIVE 2 U DAT PRONOSHON U AWASY WOTNDS LOL HER U GO :ASLO U GET £1000 DOTN SEPDN IT AL AT 1CE BEG BOY LOL :O YAEH NO U CAN HAEV DIS SOOT CUZ UR AN ECTSECUTAVE NOW DOSNT SEPDN IT ALL IN 1 PAELCE HAHA :DAEYS OBER NOW U GO HOME OK BEY Category:Clarence's Big Chance Game Script